I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
there is puke in my bra ... again
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
