I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
North Korea, Best Korea!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
