I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
