Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
