Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
