I just made out with a guy for $7.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
