which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
