ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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