Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are we still banned from the library?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
