It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
