I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
