Duck Duck Cougar?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My balls are so social today.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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