me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
