Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
