similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Holy sore nipples Batman
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
