Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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