Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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