Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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