physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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