There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
