Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
