can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
