hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize