How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
