the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
