its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
