i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
