spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
