Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
