Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
