hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
did i walk over a car last night?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
