I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
