The maid of honor just puked.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
