I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
