clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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