How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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