We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I will pee on everything he values.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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