then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
