If i come over, it means nothing
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
