A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
