rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
