i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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