I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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