Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ugly people sure do ruin things
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
