All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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