you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
