My liver just broke up with me...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
