please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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