how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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