I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
