why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
