i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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