What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
