She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize