let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
