Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
