you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
