i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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