i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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