Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize