i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
