I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
